[you are loved]

[you are loved.]

     I’ve suffered with dealing with mental illness on a daily basis as long as I can remember. Countless therapists and psychiatrists to work through trauma and me waking up not knowing if it’s going to be an “up” day or “down” day, week, or even month. And I know I am not alone in this, nor am I the only one who deals with the daily struggle of being ashamed for things that are out of our control - and also being extremely stigmatized and having a common mix of phrases thrown out at us such as: “Just snap out of it,” or “It’s just a phase.” My personal favorite is “You are just acting out for attention.” Maybe you’ve been told these things or to “try harder” to fix yourself. No matter how much self care you do practice, even when you try you still can not be “ok.” When my mind is a bunch of spaghetti noodles intertwined and stuck together the last thing I want is attention and told just to try harder.... more times than most, I isolate.

     But coping with mental illness is different for everyone: some of us get angry, anxious, depressed, or a combination of a lot of things we can’t even pinpoint. It's not your fault that you have an illness, whether it be mental or physical therefore you should not feel guilt for the way you feel.

You should NOT feel guilt for:

      - Feeling like you are a burden, you are not and you are doing your best

      - Feeling too anxious to leave the house

      - Feeling like your chronic illness has taken over the things you enjoy

      - Feeling useless & tired all the time

      - Not able to complete a full to-do list in one day

      - Feeling like you are not as "well" as people expect you to be, even though
         they may not be thinking that at all

     It’s ok you have something you can’t control, it's a hard pill to swallow but it is something I have come to accept. And it’s OK to have a bad day, or week, or month. It’s ok to take time to take self care breaks and if that means sometimes not wanting to talk to people (or anyone at all) to work on yourself is ok. Being afraid to be alone and reaching out for support is 100% ok - there is no shame in reaching out. Let me reiterate: YOU SHOULD NEVER FEEL ASHAMED TO ASK FOR HELP OR BE TOLD IT IS YOUR PROBLEM TO DEAL WITH ALONE.

     On a personal level, I chose to surround myself with toxic and unhealthy codependent individuals that I perceived as “healthy” that didn’t only just exasperate the situation, but also caused more self harm and didn’t allow positive and healing growth. I’m having to work through my own personal journey of regrowth and starting completely over in more ways than one. I am learning now after years of dealing with toxic friendships and relationships who my real support system is and that I can allow myself to reach out.
And you can allow yourself to as well.

You are loved.

xoxo
- K 
📷: Myself / Edited by: Ejai Cook

P.S. I’ve found that putting my weekly affirmations on my letter board to be extremely therapeutic.This specific set comes with *510* letters and other characters and well as a few emojis and shapes.  I have a 10" x 10" board that comes with a saw tooth picture hanger on the back or you can prop it up on the little easel they include. I’ve included a link to the board I have below so you can get your own without breaking the bank: Obliviscar 10X10 Black Letter Board with 510 PreCut Letters

P.S.S. 4 Weeks of Affirmations for You to Make on Your Own Letter Board!

Week 1

 Week 2

Week 3

 Week 4

[Permission to Curve: How Curvy Yoga Helped Me Heal My Relationship With My Body]

By Kristin Barron, Guest Blogger

Curvy Yoga? Wait... What's that?  It's yoga for *every* body.  It is partially an act of social justice, partially a way to ease the mind, and partially a radical act of self love.  So let's start with the basics.  What are the benefits of curvy yoga?

• Stress Reduction
• The basic act of being present with your breath and body as well as moving gently will calm your mind.  Meditation is very important to mental health.  Taking the time to quiet your mind and focus on breathing in "love" and breathing out negativity, or just to notice your breath reach a quiet, soft place of love, can make all the difference in the world.
• Muscle Lengthening & Strengthening 
• Proper Alignment & Strengthening of the Spine
• By making small adjustments and spending an hour working on proper alignment, your spine will be healthier and happier.
• Improved Flexibility & Mobility in Joints
• Over time, the act of stretching our muscles and tendons and warming up joints improves overall flexibility and joint health.
• Getting in Touch With Your Body
• Taking some time to just to be with your body can help you heal your relationship with it.  There is so much pressure from every direction for your body to be posed certain way in "this" or "that" position.  If you can just take some time to be with your body, exactly how it is, you can find a well of gratitude and self-love that you never knew was there.
• Joy, Kindness, and Love for Yourself
• Taking the time to connect with yourself will being will bring goodness to your life and your attitude to your own body.

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                                              My Story

  

    Making the decision to go to a yoga class used to be a terrifying prospect.  I would definitely always be the largest person in the room.  I would get looks and I would not want to look in the mirror, which we almost always faced.  and I would not be strong enough or resistant enough to do and hold every pose.

    Curvy Yoga changed every single thing about that.  After spending this year traveling to Nashville, TN from my home in South Carolina, each for a week at a time, I found myself being surrounded by a group of the most beautiful and inspiring women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.  I am more full of self-love than I have ever been in my life.  My wardrobe has changed from big, oversized clothing to proudly wearing bodycon dresses and skirts over leggings.  My fear has changed to excitement. My anxiety has been replaced by by a pop nest that I bring to every class with me.  My self-doubt has been replaced by an overwhelming amount of self-love.

     It's hard to explain exactly how much Curvy Yoga has helped me.  It changed my entire outlook of life.  It made me something that seemed completely unobtainable into an every day part of my life.  It taught me gentleness with my body.  It taught me to love every part of my body.  Curvy Yoga taught me that even when things are hectic and I can't seem to catch a break, I can simply sit down for a moment, focus on my breath, and find a place of quiet love to move from.  It taught me to feel the love radiating out from my body and send it down into the earth and out into the world, and in return to take what I need from the universe - whether it is a little extra love, extra strength, or joy to spread to others.

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So What Is Curvy Yoga?

It is a form of hatha yoga, which means slow, gentle movements.  It consists of holding poses and taking time to get in and out of poses, as opposed to vinyasa or flow style yoga in which you flow from one pose to another.  

It is all about modification and props.  As I mentioned earlier, a "prop nest" is made up of:

- super-sized blocks 

- extra blankets

- an extra bolster 

-foam "eggs" for wrist support

- and some extra knee support.  

The modifications I mentioned can be anything from simply widening your stance a little to make some extra room or provide more support to a pose lying on the floor, seated in a chair, or against a wall.  To look at me, you wouldn't guess that I can do a shoulder stand or that I'm working my way towards a forearm stand now.  

Curvy Yoga is all about meeting your practice exactly where you are at.  If you need to make more space to fold forward, you can tuck the skin of your tummy.  If you need extra support, use a block or a bolster.  If you are having trouble with balance, you can do a pose against a wall.  If you can't stand for long periods of time, you can do poses seated in a chair.  Slow your breath.  Trust me, you will be glad you did. 

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I will leave you with a few thoughts I like to close my classes with:

May I greet my body with gentleness.

May I soften when life invites me to harden.

May I listen to my intuition when wisdom and trust it with ease.

May I appreciate my body a little more in this moment, just as it is.

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 My brand new website is over at pixelatedyogini.com. 

You can also find me at the following:

Facebook

Twitter
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For booking, class schedules, or more information, please email me at pixelatedyogini@gmail.com.

So much love,
Kristin Barron

The Pixelated Yogini 

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I am a licensed yoga instructor, certified with the Yoga Alliance.  Please always consult a medical professional before beginning any kind of yoga practice, no matter what kind.